What we do know is that she traveled from her small city in Louisiana to Dallas, TX, where it appears she lived for a while with the childless couple who would become the adoptive parents of her baby. We believe she was connected to this couple by someone in Louisiana, as the couple had lived there prior to moving to Dallas. After her baby girl was born, she went on to El Paso, TX, to live with a friend. And if she timed her travel just right, no one in Louisiana would have known she was pregnant, unless she had chosen to tell them. Going to El Paso afterwards where she was unknown would also keep her secret safe. We believe we know who the father was, confirmed by DNA matches with my niece, the daughter of my mother's first daughter, and my co-conspirator in trying to piece this together. We don't know with 100% certainty why my mother didn't marry the father, whom we believe was not yet married.
Surprise does not even begin to describe my reaction when I stumbled upon my mom's secret through my genealogy research and, ultimately, DNA testing. I mentally floundered trying to think of any living relatives to whom I could turn for enlightenment. However, my mother and most of her cousins who might have known her secret were all deceased.
My niece was just as surprised when I emailed her late one April night in 2016, because based on research done by one of her relatives, she thought I was also deceased. So we approached each other somewhat cautiously. I confirmed my identity by sharing with her information that only a close family member would know. She confirmed her relationship to my mother, her grandmother, by sharing copies of her mother's adoption papers and birth certificate. A close match with our DNA tests sealed our familial connection.
My niece shared as much as she could remember about her mother. Sadly, she was only 8 years old when her mom passed away suddenly from a heart attack at age 41, leaving a husband and 3 young children. Evidently, my sister had a history of heart disease, and had begun searching for her birth mother several years prior to her death, which led her to legally open her adoption records.
In my estimation, my mom had a couple of distinguishing features that made her beauty stand out. She had big soulful hazel eyes, black hair with a widow's peak, and full lips upon which she wore the reddest of lipsticks. When I looked at the photos of my sister, also beautiful, I couldn't see my mother in her features. (Of course, my face is almost literally 1/2 of my father, and 1/2 of my mother. And my coloring is neither. DNA's like that, right?) Nevertheless, as my niece shared more and more photos of her mother I started to see a resemblance, especially if her head was tilted a certain way. And then I could see she had my mother's jawline.
I realize other people have been confronted by surprises like this through their DNA testing. I wish for them the best of experiences in handling the emotional turmoil such a revelation will most likely cause, not only for themselves but for those around them as well. My own immediate family has been supportive of me, and welcoming to our newly found relatives. And our newly found relatives have happily accepted us ..... I think!
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| Leilani's senior picture circa 1965 |
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| My senior picture 1968 |
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| Mom circa 1945 |
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